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 My friend Jack is as sick as I am.  This is today’s email.  To parrot someone not getting a link,  “Me like.”

 I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest ‘member’ she had ever laid her hands on. I said “You’re pulling my leg.”
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor – she only had $1.20 in her purse.
My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker. Well, she’s not exactly my girlfriend yet.
Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my buttocks! Do you think I should change dentists?
A wife says to her husband you’re always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You’re in a wheel chair.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, “You’re obviously not listening”.
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.
At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.
A buddy of mine has just told me he’s getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said “How can you tell them apart?” He said “Her brother’s got a mustache.”
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, “I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled.” To which she replied, “No, it’s regular people-porn, you sick b………d.”
Categories: HumorTags:
  1. October 11th, 2011 at 07:48 | #1

    Greatly appreciated on a dull morning …

  2. October 11th, 2011 at 07:49 | #2

    You know who not getting a link?

  3. October 11th, 2011 at 08:01 | #3

    I’m stealing this.

  4. Very Josie
    October 11th, 2011 at 08:08 | #4

    LOLLLLLLLLLLLL  A very funny post.  When the posts are this funny, I’ll do without a link.  Me Like.

  5. October 11th, 2011 at 21:28 | #5

    Made my day.

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